The Pop Fop

Snobbery & Decay

Troll of the Year


One guilty pleasure of mine is trolling commenters on Gawker.  Trolling is perhaps not the most accurate term since the sentiments I express are sincere, though I knowingly post amongst an audience who I know will be hostile to my views.  My trolling is mediocre at best, however.  I think this is because I don’t stick to a particular style and trolling, like any form of writing, must have a consistent style.  As such, I have the pleasure of introducing you all to Muntanyer a fellow Gawker troll who enrages Progressive sensibilities with pedantic eloquence.  Here are some of his greatest hits:

On the similarities between Nidal Hassan and Bradley Manning:

Another case of a soldier with an “identity disorder” (couldn’t handle the “ambivalence” of being a Muslim in the U.S. Army). This is why homogeneity is requisite in the military: you can’t have people with guns feeling left in or left out—the psychology of maximum group cohesion is paramount and outliers must be unadmittable ab initio. Major Hasan and Pfc. Manning were outliers and comported themselves (though, to be sure, extremely) with the predictable psychologies of such.

On future social divisions:

In the future the “naturals” will be discriminated against by the “trans,” i.e. those, who in ever greater numbers, will have adopted an ideology of radical post-humanism and have elected to transform themselves into incarnated avatars of the “things” they most identify with “interiorly,” this will naturally run the gamut of animalian, mineral, and vegetable sentient mutations. There will be flying people, swimming people, hermaphroditic (btw, all categorizable as life-stages, and thus intrinsically mutable), and all manner of chlorophilic (those who can’t stand the pestilential odor of animal flesh) people; yet none of this will change the manifest insanity at the core of a teleology of interminable superficial change.

On Facebook:

Facebook is by its very nature an intelligence salience into the homes, lives, and minds of its users; its functionality in this regard may not be its primary purpose, but it is indissoluble from it.

On Miley Cyrus:

I see that tongue, which resembles a dying and self-extracting mollusk, has become her trademark of salivary salacity, perhaps someone should inform her it’s also the face large ungulates typically present when they have expired de la chasse, so not Diana the Huntress, but a felled water buffalo. 

On transgenderism:

Transgenderism is a folie in the classical sense, it is not unreasonable, in the sense that, to be sure, there are reasons for it (as for everything), but it is maladaptive and irrational in that its aims are set against the normal functioning and integrity of the very body hosting the thoughts, thus making enemies of the same indissociable body and mind. Such preoccupations with the duality of spirit and body are, of course, hardly new, and they have traditionally best been resolved philosophically, which usually entails the dissolution of the preoccupation via other curative concerns, and in no way the intensification of the irrationality by giving to it ever greater title and power, to the point that it totalises the personality, to the level of the body, and at the expense of both. 

On Lee Daniels’ The Butler:

I guess this is the kind of movie to which the masses go in order to get their government-sponsored brainwashing. The Disneyfication of American history: an efficacious and scientifically proven pabulum which the masses have never not found palatable or swallowable. Just like Obama.

On Egypt:

The Egyptians are not fit to govern themselves, it would be best if they allowed a friendly, efficient, and pro-Western Islamic government, like Turkey’s, to become a caretaker state for them. There’s even a precedent for that in the Ottoman historical period. 

On Oprah’s “racist” shopping experience:

She’s clearly a self-hating black with an iceberg-sized chip on her shoulder, and this apparently caused her to have some kind of near mental breakdown when visiting Zurich, she should stick to places where she feels more comfortable and where she won’t feel compelled to cause hard working people problems.

P.S. it’s neither “classy” nor sophisticated to so vociferously and publicly complain the way she did about such a subjective, trivial and yet personal matter, what it does show is immense egocentricity, incorrigible immaturity, gross uncouthness, and a very American type of stupidity.

On Justin Bieber’s hairstyle

I believe they’re known in the trade as “catamite curls.”

On gay rights:

Gay rights don’t matter in the overall picture therefore “conservatives” and “liberals” can allow themselves to disagree on the matter, on those things that really do matter: total surveillance, evisceration of habeas corpus rights, terror wars without end, bank and corporate pillaging of the public treasure, you’ll notice great comity, bipartisanship, and almost nary a voice of dissident. But be happy Heliogabalus for you can now marry your chariot driver and have yourself called a queen!

Eat it, shitlbs. 

The Troll of Basecamp, NV.

The Troll of Basecamp, NV.